Ah, the beauty of cola. The wonderful drink that sends kids to hyperactive mode. Cola can be enjoyed by anyone of any age. Give your cat some cola and see it run around the house with joy (Any broken items will not be paid by us). Give your granny a cola and she'll be as fit as any teenager. However, the can of coke though it can bring about miracles, it can carry a deep dark secret. Yes, the coke or cola can be a Weapon of Mass Destruction (WMD)!
If you're running away from a gang, just grab a stick of Mentos (Mint flavor preferably) and stick the whole stick into a bottle or can of cola. Then throw the bottle/can into the gang and watch the fireworks (Works well with Diet Coke, it's been proven)! That's right, your miracle drink is a ticking time bomb. Who needs a gun when you can kill your enemy with the force of the cola. Just shake the bottle/can for roughly 172 times and open the cap to release the pressure in the bottle/can. Then watched your enemies be thrown backwards by the sheer force of the cola.
After reading this article, you must act now. Destroy your coke. By drinking it, you are bowing down to the overlord that is Coke. You must prevent the world's impending doom by crushing all cola cans and breaking cola bottles by slamming them into the wall (Should the wall be dyed of cola, it is your fault). Rise up and defeat COLA!
Warning: We are not responsible for any choking, deaths and damages.
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AHAHAAHAHH!
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